It was a rainy  Friday afternoon in 1983. The late Dr. Robert L. Custer , whom was the “father” of treatment for compulsive gambling, asked me to drive him to Long Island, N. Y , to visit one of his patients. This patient had entered an in-patient treatment center for compulsive gambling. As we drove along the bumpy Long Island Expressway, I  had no idea  whom we were going to visit. It didn’t matter to me, as I would have done anything for Dr. Custer, since  by now we had become personal friends.  As a compulsive gambler , in recovery for about 15 years, I had learned the only way I could keep my recovery was to reach out to another  suffering compulsive gambler. Even though it was a long time ago, I  could still remember  the pain that gambling caused me and my family and friends. I always loved the time I spent with Dr. Custer , but this particular time was really special, since most of the discussion focused on recovery  from compulsive gambling.

We arrived at the treatment center and went to see Dr. Bob’s patient. We talked for about an hour. He was a young man, about 21 years old and very handsome. He had the body of an athlete, seemed very intelligent and appeared to have quite a lot of potential. Yet, there was no doubt that he was a compulsive gambler and already had many losses including his career being in jeopardy. He was very likable and we hit it off immediately. For the next couple of weeks many of the conversations I had with Dr. Custer were about this patient. About three months later, in Bethesda Maryland, in the home of Dr. Custer,we met again. In the following year we met and spoke on the phone frequently. It seemed to me that we were becoming good friends. Even though he relapsed a few times over the next few years, we still kept in touch, often. During that time he still had the ability to perform  in his career but his employers were afraid that the gambling addiction might interfere. Unlike alcoholics and drug addict, who get second chances, it is more difficult for compulsive gamblers to get second chances . In the meantime, the young man got married and got a job in another field. He had his own radio show, and as most compulsive gamblers , he was able to succeed at this new endeavor. However, recovery continued to elude him. His pain was getting greater and greater. He wanted to stop, but couldn’t. The need to gamble was stronger than his power to stop by himself.  No compulsive gambler can stop on his or her own. He needed the help of other recovering people, but he was still struggling with this concept. The addiction had him by the throat and was destroying him little by little .

The death of Dr. Custer (in the mid 80’s) was a terrible loss to me and I know it had to be a tremendous loss for this patient. A few years later,  his wife gave birth to their first daughter. Now they had become a family. Over the next few years we were still having contact over the phone.  Often he would talk about his wife and his daughter  and how much he loved them

Last year, before the Super Bowl, I was a guest on his radio show. The discussion was about compulsive gambling.  Even though he  hadn’t stopped gambling  himself, he was still eager to carry the message about the devastation of compulsive  gambling to his audience. Shortly thereafter he took a “geographical cure” and moved to Las Vegas,  the Mecca of gambling in America. For most gamblers this town is Heaven, but for compulsive gamblers it’s Hell. Again he was a host of a successful radio show.

With all the phone calls over the years, we had not seen each other for about five years. Last week was the first time I saw him, again. I was on one side of a glass partition, he was on the other. The visit took place in the North Las Vegas Correctional Center in Las Vegas, Nevada. As with all compulsive gamblers they will pursue their gambling into the gates of prison, insanity or death. As we talked over the prison phone, my life, prior to recovery, flashed before my eyes. Thank God I had stopped when I did or I could have been on the other side of the partition. At this time I am fortunate enough to have had recovery for  twenty-six years, one day at a time. My friend  told me that he had eight nine days without a bet. He said that now he believes he can stop and he wants to. That’s how recovery can begin. You admit you are a compulsive gambler and you have the desire to stop.

The next day I saw him in Court for sentencing on the charge of bank fraud. I had the privilege to be asked by him and his attorney to explain the issue of compulsive gambling to the court. Not in my wildest dreams could I have believed  that in my recovery I, or anyone else would ever be asked to speak in a Federal court about compulsive gambling.

With a room full of reporters, a family member, friends and some recovering compulsive gamblers, the Judge sentenced him to twenty-four months in jail. When I heard the sentence I got a pain in my stomach, my hands started to sweat and I could feel his pain. When the defendant stood in front of the Judge, his only request was to serve his sentence  in a federal prison in Terre Haute, Indiana, so he could be closer to his wife and his two children.

Although we have come a long way in the area of compulsive gambling awareness, there is still virtually no help in the Federal correctional system. It seems to me that it would be very difficult for a compulsive gambler to find recovery or stay in recovery in this type of setting. I believe the federal correctional system should provide some of the following services: counseling services, Gamblers Anonymous meetings within the facility,and education and  reading materials on compulsive gambling and it’s recovery. I believe strongly, that  incarceration time should be reduced in lieu of alternatives like halfway houses or in-patient treatment facilities. In addition I think that sentencing should include making full restitution(within a realistic budget), community service, continued attendance at Gamblers  Anonymous and on-going counseling services

It is ironic that he was sentenced two days before the Super Bowl because if not for the fact that he is a compulsive gambler  ART SCHLICHTER  might have been the starting Quarterback in the game.

It was Memorial Day 1951. He was a 14-year-old Brooklyn boy earning four bits an hour in an after-school job when he made his first score gambling at Roosevelt Raceway in Westbury: $54 cash — genuine folding green.

“It changed my life,” he says in a nasal voice like one of the kids from “Welcome Back Kotter.” “I thought in that moment, that day, what a euphoria, what a high, what an easy way to make money. And what a schmuck I was working for 50 cents an hour.”

By 17, when most kids were hustling to buy their first car, Wexler had his own bookmaker. By 18, he was winning and losing thousands.
When it came to sports betting, he didn’t discriminate. He bet hockey without knowing what a puck was. He bet horses daily, sometimes gambling away his bankroll before he was able to play the mob’s fixed race of the day.

“I’d bet on a cock-a-roach race,” he says. “I bet everything and anything.”
It was December 1967 when he learned the bottom line from Matty, his North Bergen, N.J., bookmaker, about the incredible popularity of football with the betting public. On that day, Arnie could have told you the stats for the starting lineups of the American League, but he couldn’t have named five NFL players.

Soon he was gambling way over his head on football. He was on his way to losing his career, his friends and his family. While earning $125 a week, he once called in a $10,800 bet. “And if I lose the 10 cents in the phone booth, I can’t call the man back.”

He doesn’t blame Las Vegas. Without setting foot in a casino, he gambled with bookmakers, in backroom card games, and at the racetrack.
He won a lot — and always lost more.

His life eventually got better  when he found recovery and  he began to learn about the nature of addiction. Ever a man with a head for numbers, Arnie reminds me he placed his last bet on April 10, 1968.

Today, Wexler and his wife, Sheila, are two of the nation’s most vocal advocates of a greater understanding of gambling addiction. Today, on Super Bowl Sunday in a nation that worships sports and the betting that is an integral part of its reason for being, the Wexlers are lone voices drowned out by the roaring crowd.

When I ask his opinion of the importance of betting to the NFL and the Super Bowl, he doesn’t miss a beat.

“Take away the gambling from football,” he says, “and you’ve got soccer.”
Allow gambling on high school football, he adds, and watch the grandstands fill.

The Super Bowl is not only the biggest betting day of the year for the Las Vegas sports book fraternity, it is the one game on which just about everyone from Seattle to Sarasota has a little action. Wexler appreciates the excitement, but thinks the NFL and the legal gambling industry are hypocrites for not taking a stronger stance on the issue of addiction.
“I’m not a prohibitionist,” he says. “I’m a recovering compulsive gambler. Compulsive gamblers cannot walk out with the money. It’s not about the money that you win. It’s about being in action. That’s the sickness.”

What does a recovering compulsive gambler do on the biggest betting day of the year?

“We’re probably going to go out to dinner with my father-in-law and his girlfriend,” Wexler says. “After that, I’ll probably end up at some kind of meeting.”

Old gambling stories aside, that’s what keeps him money ahead in real life.
John L. Smith’s column appears Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. E-mail him at Smith@reviewjournal.com or call (702) 383-0295. He also blogs at lvrj.com/blogs/smith.

The gambler is eventually able to remove themselves from reality to the point of being totally obsessed with gambling. Eventually, they will do anything to get the money with which to stay in “action”. They will spend all their time and energy developing schemes in order to get the money to continue gambling. Lying becomes a way of life for the gambler.

They will try to convince others and themselves that their lies are actually truths and they will believe there own lies.

After they hit a real bottom they will have to do something if they want to try to recover.  Most gamblers at that point will want to stop but can’t (they wont be able to).

Most even at that point  will keep gambling  some will end up in jail  some will attempt suicide  some will die from their addiction as they will not take care of their health or the stress will kill them.

And a small group of addicted gamblers will seek and find real help  but the real trick is to get in to real recovery.  Not just abstinence.  By the time the  gambler comes for help they have broken brains (Meaning their brains don’t work like they used to when they were not in there addiction).

To get real recovery the gambler needs to work on them self’s  one day at a time and get someone to do there thinking for them who has been in recovery some time and has there brains  are working right   (a sponsor)  After some time in recovery there brains will start to work again.  They  will become productive on there job and become a good father  and husband.   Recover is a process and does not happen with out a lot of work on your self . and making a moral and financial inventory. But people can recover and do.

It is difficult to spot a compulsive gambler, because, unlike other addictions, it is a hidden and invisible disease. For millions of people, gambling offers a harmless and entertaining diversion from everyday life. Whether playing bingo or baccarat, these people are participating in a legitimate and time-honored recreational activity by taking a chance on an unpredictable event in the hope of winning. For others, however, the simple act of placing a bet is a vastly different experience. What seems a moment of elation or excitement for some gamblers is in reality a moment of overwhelming compulsion- a moment in which these people have lost the ability to control their gambling behavior. These individuals cannot resist the impulse to gamble- they are compulsive gamblers.

The American Psychiatric Association (since 1980) has defined the disorder using the following criteria:

Diagnostic criteria for 312.31 Pathological Gambling

DSM-IV

Persistent and recurrent maladaptive gambling behavior as indicated by at least five of the following:

1. Is preoccupied with gambling (e.g., preoccupied with reliving past gambling experiences, handicapping or planning the next venture, or thinking of ways to get money with which to gamble)
2. Needs to gamble with increasing amounts of money in order to achieve the desired excitement
3. Has repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop gambling
4. Is restless or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop gambling
5. Gambles as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (e.g., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, and depression.
6. After losing money gambling, often returns another day in order to get even (“chasing” one’s losses)
7. Lies to family members, therapist, or others to conceal the extent of involvement with gambling
8. Has committed illegal acts, such as forgery, fraud, theft, or embezzlement, in order to finance gambling
9. Has jeopardized or lost a significant relationship, job, or educational or career opportunity because of gambling
10. Relies on others to provide money to relieve a desperate financial situation caused by gambling

It is important to note that this is a treatable illness and a person can lead a productive life after finding help and recovery.

The American Medical Association adopted a resolution ( Resolution 430 in 1995) citing “the addictive potential of gambling”, suggesting that their member physicians “advise their patients of the addictive potential of gambling”.

When I was the Executive Director of the Council on Compulsive Gambling of NJ, 8% of our calls to the hot line, came from casino employees. Since 1994, we have trained over 35,000 casino workers, nationwide. Raising the awareness of employees through training on the subject of compulsive gambling is sometimes the catalyst for the employee to seek help. Every time we do casino worker  training, some workers, who have a gambling problem, themselves, or have a family member with the problem, approach us for help. Often we receive phone calls from employees, several months after they hear our presentation. Many of these people find it difficult to come forward with the problem, fearing that exposure will affect their chances for advancement with the company. Supervisors who recognize an employee who has a serious gambling problem also often approach us.

The problem exists at all levels of employment. Workers have approached us from housekeepers to executives of casino companies. There was a housekeeper who revealed that she stole items from guest’s rooms in order to support her gambling addiction. A casino limousine driver called us and was planning to kill himself as the result of his gambling problem. There was a pit boss that let dead-beat gamblers sign markers and then got a pay off from the gambler. A racetrack announcer called me for help after trying to fix races in order to get money to gamble with. We received a call for help from an employee on the hotel side, who was using customers’ credit cards to access gambling money for his gambling. A legal counsel to a casino company, asked for our help in getting him excluded from gambling in casinos in his state. A woman who worked in credit came forward to ask for help as she was in jeopardy of losing her marriage and children.We have even worked to help a man who was the CEO of a major casino and now is in recovery.

As the problem or compulsive gambler becomes more and more pre-occupied with their gambling they will eventually effect their company and their job performance. Some areas include erratic work performance, inconsiderate treatment of customers, borrowing money from coworkers or customers, absenteeism, tardiness, theft, embezzlement, affecting the integrity of the game they are dealing or by being coerced to fix games by bookmakers or loan sharks whom they may owe money to, and increased health care costs for them and their affected families.

It would be beneficial and good prudent, business judgment, if gaming companies helped their employees who had a gambling problem, rather than terminating them. Employees are their most valuable asset as they are often, in the front line with their customers Employers and supervisors need to realize that compulsive gambling is an addiction, similar to alcoholism and drug addiction.

Many companies already have health benefits that include treatment for other addictions. These benefits should also include treatment for compulsive gambling for employees and their families, paid for by the employer. Employers can also make available a room for an in house Gamblers Anonymous meeting. Human Resource and EAP personnel should have training on the subject of compulsive gambling. Brochures and information regarding help for a gambling problem, should be made available to all employees.

Another area that employers may want to consider is the legal ramifications of not taking action if they recognize that their employee has a gambling problem. They may be held accountable by the regulatory body in their state, for continuing to employ someone who has a compulsive gambling problem and is currently gambling. On the other hand, employers should have documented information before approaching a worker who is suspected of having a gambling problem.

Early detection of this hidden illness may result in the employee getting help before he or she reaches the desperation phase of compulsive gambling. With recovery, both the employee and the employer will benefit.

We are encouraged to see that some gaming companies have come a long way, in the last few years, by addressing this issue. They have developed training programs and responsible gaming programs and policies that have helped their employees who have a gambling problem.

‘TAKE AWAY gambling from the National Football League and you’ve got soccer,” Arnie Wexler grumbles, knowing he’s got your attention now, without resorting to a 2-by-4 upside your head.

“When I was betting, and I haven’t made a bet since April 10, 1968, it was ‘win-or-lose.’ Now, it’s ‘over/under’ and 200 different proposition bets. Playoff games and the Super Bowl are to the compulsive gambler what New Year’s Eve is to an alcoholic.”

You can bet on the coin toss at the Super Bowl, heads or tails, but you have to wager $55 to win $50 on what is essentially a 50-50 proposition. That’s called vigorish, the house advantage, the built-in edge that helped create the glitzy casino skyline in Las Vegas (take away gambling from Vegas and you have cactus).

Wexler lost too many win-or-lose bets. Wound up with nothing but lint in his pockets and thoughts of suicide raging inside his head. Fought his way back. Calls himself a recovering gambling addict, because that’s what he is.

Runs a counseling service with his wife, Sheila. Fights the good fight against the lotteries, against the casino tide, against sports betting.

“When they debated 24-hour casino gambling in New Jersey,” he recalls bitterly, “I testified at the hearings, hammered away at them, borrowing from the cigarette companies having to put a ‘hazardous to your health’ sticker on every pack. Finally, they agreed to offer a phone number to call ‘if you or someone you know has a gambling problem.’ ”

If you or someone you know has a gambling problem you can call 1-888-LAST BET, and Wexler will get back to you. He sees Pennsylvania approving casino table games and on-site credit and it makes him sick.

“More and more states approving gambling,” Wexler moans, “as an easy way to balance a budget, without caring about destroying the lives of some of its citizens.”

Wexler’s theory is raw. Make it easier to gamble and more people will gamble. Some of those people have the gene that predisposes them to compulsive gambling. Some of those people will become addicted, steal, abuse a spouse, shatter a marriage, commit suicide. He defines a compulsive gambler as “someone who lets the gambling control you, instead of you controlling the gambling.”

Says there are 5 million gambling addicts out there, with another 15 million at risk.

(Let the record show that the pie-in-the-sky forecasts of $250 million in table-game revenue going to the state include a $3 million set-aside to help addicted gamblers get treatment.)

He shares an e-mail from a judge in a city where gambling is legal, citing the dramatic increase in domestic-abuse incidents on Super Bowl weekend. (Let the record show that a survey a couple of years ago debunked this statistical trend as urban myth.)

He follows the Gilbert Arenas gun-toting mess with a jaundiced eye, knowing that it was triggered by a dispute over a gambling debt spawned by a high-stakes card game among teammates.

When a $12 million-a-year guy plays poker with a $1 million-a-year guy, the $12 million guy wins every time unless the $1 million guy has brought his own deck. Either way, feelings get bruised, bitterness follows.

In reaction to the Arenas mess, Lakers coach Phil Jackson has endorsed card games on charter flights. Nets president Rod Thorn has banned them.

“Ten years ago,” Wexler rasps, “I had a meeting with the NBA. They were concerned about gambling in the league. One of the things that came up was guys losing $30,000 to $50,000 playing cards on a flight from one city to another.

“We put together a set of questions for every player and my wife was going to evaluate the answers. We gave the league the questions and they never got back to us. They abandoned the idea, and the word was that the higher-ups were afraid of the media’s response.”

And now, between dealing with a rogue referee who bet on games he officiated and the Arenas mess, NBA commissioner David Stern ran the legal-gambling banner up the flagpole. Wexler did not salute. He threw rocks at it.

“Money,” he snorts. “Greed. The things that have motivated David Stern down through the years.”

They have a gadget in Vegas now that allows a gambler to place bets from anywhere in the hotel/casino. Can you imagine 6,000 people at Wachovia Center carrying a similar gadget? Elton Brand steps to the foul line and you can bet make-or-miss.

(Let’s say he’s shooting 77 percent from the foul line, you will still have to bet $100 to win $75, if you think he will make the shot. That old devil, vigorish, cackling in the background as a basketball game is transformed into dogfighting, you should excuse the expression.)

Wexler used to think gambling was recession-proof. Now he sees Atlantic City casinos going belly up and Vegas revenues shrinking and New England casinos up to their armpits in debt.

“I always wondered about saturation,” he confesses. “And now, with so many casinos out there, people are going to go broke, to tap out. The states counting on huge revenues will wind up disappointed. The average person, faced with daunting odds, is backing away. It’s the addicted gambler who continues to gamble.”

He will keep hammering away at states ignoring the social woes that come with increased legal gambling. He will keep yammering at casinos that get players drunk while approving six-figure “markers.” And he willingly, sadly, offers two more warnings.

“The big secret in the gambling industry,” he says, “is the increasing number of addicted workers in the industry. Sure, they can’t gamble where they work, but they go down the street, to gamble in a different casino.

“And then there’s the problem of all those slot machines on military bases abroad. More and more soldiers becoming addicts, more and more lives impacted.”

Wexler’s message is bleak as America gets ready to celebrate another Super Bowl. Meanwhile, avoid betting “over/under” on the length of the national anthem. It’s a sucker bet because the wiseguys have a “book” on the anthem singers, who’s slow, who’s quick, who makes “rockets’ red glare” last longer than a Charles Barkley New Year’s resolution.

Send e-mail to stanrhoch@comcast.net

By Arnie Wexler

As the cheers and jeers slowly quiet down for the 2009 World Champion New York Yankees, a festering problem throughout many sports remains: No, I am not talking about steroids. The problem is compulsive gambling by athletes.

Athletes may be more vulnerable than the general population when you look at the soft signs of compulsive gambling: high Levels of energy; unreasonable expectations of winning; very competitive personalities; distorted optimism; and bright with high IQs

It is time for college and professional sports to outline and executive a real program to help players who might have a gambling problem or gambling addiction problem. Yet college and professional sports still do not want to deal with this. They do not want the media and public to think there is a problem.

Ten years ago, as a compulsive-gamblers counselor, I went to the National Basketball Association office in Manhattan and met with league officials, players and union officials, concerned about players’ gambling. I was told, “We have a problem, and we’re trying to find out how bad the problem is” Officials asked me to keep my calendar open for the spring of the following year and said to me that they hoped that I might address every team in the league.

When I hadn’t heard from the NBA, I called and asked, “When do we start?” The talked were cancelled, and the response I got was this: “They said that the higher-ups didn’t want the media to find out”

And over the years, I have spoken to many college and professional athletes who had a gambling problem. One NCAA study a few years ago reported: “There is a disturbing trend of gambling among athletes in college” You can’t think that these people will get into the pros and then just stop gambling.

Compulsive gambling is an addiction just like alcoholism and chemical dependency, and all three diseases are recognized by the American Psychiatric Association’s diagnostic and statistical manual. Nevertheless, we treat compulsive gambling differently than the other two addictions. Society and professional sports treat people with chemical dependency and alcoholism as sick persons, send them to treatment and get them back to work. Sports looks at compulsive gamblers as bad people and gets barred them from playing in professional sports.

If colleges and professional leagues wanted to help the players, they would run real programs that seriously address the issue of gambling and compulsive gambling. Education and early detection can make a difference between life and death for some people who have or will end up with a gambling addiction.

One sports insider said to me: “Teams need to have a real program for players, coaches and referees, and they need to let somebody else run it. When you do it in-house, it’s like the fox running the chicken coop. You must be kidding yourself if you think any player, coach or referee is going to call the league and say, ‘I’ve got a gambling problem, and I need help.’ ”

When you look at the headlines about professional athletes, coaches and referees on the perils of gambling, odds are very good that might be looking at the tip of the iceberg. Here are several from the recent past:

= Pete Rose [on the Donahue show, November 1989]: “I didn’t seek help for my gambling problem until the middle of September, and I know it’s something I can’t lick by myself. I need help”

= Charles Barkley troubled by gambling addiction problem.

= Dolphins’ Will Allen investigated for pulling out gun in dispute over gambling debts.

= Antoine Walker has a scheduled court in Las Vegas in a case involving an $822,500 gambling debt.

= An arrest warrant for Shawn Chacon as a result of his alleged failure to pay Caesars Palace $150,000 in gambling markers.

= John Daly says gambling problem will “ruin me” and says he has lost between $50 million and $60 million during 12 years of heavy gambling .

= Russia’s Nikolay Davydenko was at the center of the match-fixing controversy in tennis.

= Michael Jordan was spotted at the baccarat pit of an Atlantic City casino in the wee hours of the morning before game two of the Eastern Conference Finals.

= Art Schlichter spent a decade in prison: “Ten years, seven months and two weeks, inside 44 various jails or prisons” because of gambling addiction.

= NBA referee Tim Donaghy is now in recovery for his gambling addiction. (From Tim Donaghy’s book if ever released: “I kept waiting for a Knicks game when Stafford, Bavetta and Kersey were working together. It was like knowing the winning lottery numbers before the drawing!”)

= March 1991: Lenny Dykstra, a notorious high-stakes bettor, was linked to a gambling probe in Mississippi.

= Paul Lo Duca says he bets with off-shore bookies, which, he claims, is legal. Running up big gambling debts — or even being perceived as a heavy gambler — leads to serious trouble. (What’s interesting about is that neither Major League Baseball nor the Mets seem bothered about the reports. Oh, the commissioner’s office mumbled something about gambling being bad.)

There are people in various sport’s halls of fame who are convicted drug addicts and alcoholics, yet compulsive gamblers are unable to get into these halls of fame. In fact, as far as professional sports goes, an alcoholic and chemical dependent person can get multiple chances, whereas a gambler cannot.

I am a recovering compulsive gambler who placed my last bet on April, 10, 1968, and I have been fighting the injustice of how sports, society and the judicial system deal with compulsive gamblers for the last 40 years. I run a national help line: 1-888-LAST BET.

Arnie Wexler (aswexler@aol.com)
Arnie & Sheila Wexler Associates
213 Third Avenue
Bradley Beach, New Jersey 07720
Office #: 561-200-0165
Cell#: 954-501-5270

I started gambling at about age 7 or 8 as a kid in Brooklyn, NY. It started with flipping baseball cards, pitching pennies, shooting marbles and playing pinball machines. That kind of gambling continued until about age 14. At that point I started to bet on sporting events with a bookmaker and I got into the stock market.

As a young kid, growing up, I always felt that everyone was better than me. The only time I felt okay about myself was after I had a win, whether it was marbles or baseball cards or pennies. Then at 14 I went to the racetrack for the first time (that was Memorial Day, 1951 Roosevelt Raceway). At that time in my life I was making $.50 an hour after school, working about 15-20 hours a week. That night at Roosevelt Raceway I had my first big win and walked out of the track with $54. Looking back today, I think it was that night that changed my life. Even though it was only $54, it was about 5 weeks salary to me at that time. That night gave me the belief that I could be a winner from gambling and eventually become a millionaire. I can still recall that high feeling walking out of the racetrack that night.

By 17, I was already stealing to support my gambling. It started with stealing comic books to play cards with from the local candy store. Before long it was stealing money from my family to pay for gambling. By then I was taking the bus to the racetrack, a few nights a week on a regular basis. In those days they closed the track in the winter months, in New York so on weekends, I would take the bus or the train to Maryland to gamble. I was betting sporting events and horses with the bookmaker on a daily basis. In those days each sport had its own season. I remember calling the bookmaker one day and the only thing that was available to gamble on was hockey. I had never seen a hockey game, but bet on it anyway. It wasn’t until months later when I did see my first hockey game, that I realized that hockey was played on ice.

Somewhere between age 17 and 20 I went to the racetrack one night and won $6000. Wow! Another big win. It was the equivalent of 2 years salary. This reinforced my belief that I could be a winner at gambling.

By my early 20′s I was betting big amounts on lots of games that I didn’t really know much about and probably couldn’t name more than a handful of players who played in these events. In some of the college games I bet on, I couldn’t name one player or even tell you where the college was located, but I needed to be in action. By then I was a regular at the old Madison Square Garden, every week. I was watching and betting on college and professional basketball on a regular basis. At this point in my life I was working full time in a shipping department in the garment center and every Tuesday when we got paid there was a regular crap game out in the hallway. Almost every week I would lose my pay in this game. I began stealing supplies and merchandise on a daily basis to pay for my gambling. By then, I had a bank loan and a loan with a finance company loan. I was also borrowing from coworkers.

At 21 I met my future wife. Our first date was to the movies and most of the rest of our dating was at the racetrack. We had a joint checking account saving for our wedding. She would put money in and I wouldn’t. I needed to use my money for gambling. I was still looking for another big win. I thought the perfect place for our honeymoon would be Las Vegas or Puerto Rico since I knew both places had casinos. My wife to be didn’t think that was a good idea. I guess she understood enough about my gambling already. At 23 we got married and I wanted to stop gambling at that point. I thought that I could. Within a short time I was already back to gambling. Even though I wanted to stop, I realize today that I couldn’t. I needed to gamble like any drug addict needed to stick that needle in their arm, or any alcoholic needed to have that drink.

Four weeks after we got married I went away to the Army Reserves at Fort Dix, NJ for 6 months. During those 6 months, I gambled every day, fast and furious, from placing bets by phone with the bookmaker to shooting crap and playing cards, every waking minute. When I came home in December of 1961, I owed $4000 and didn’t even have a job.

I got a job, eventually, working in the garment center In the showroom that I worked in there were a few compulsive gamblers who I quickly got friendly with. They became my buddies. We would play cards during the day, and go to the racetrack at night and on weekends, together. My wife thought I was at business meetings some of these nights and all of us would lie for each other.

In 1963 my first daughter was born. My wife was in labor 37 hours. During that period I went to the racetrack twice. When the Doctor finally came out and told me that we had a baby, the only question I really was concerned about was “how much did she weigh”. He told me 7lbs.1 oz. You would think that the concern should have been “how is my wife” or  “how is the baby”. The first call I made was to the bookmaker. I bet 71 in the daily double. The next day when I picked up the newspaper, the daily double hit. I was convinced that day that God was sending me a message that I was now going to be a winner.

One year later my boss gave me an option to buy 500 shares of stock in the company for $7500. Within a year that stock was worth $38,000. In those days you could buy a car for $2000 and a house for about $10,000. Within 3 years this money would be gone due to my gambling. By now I was a plant supervisor for a Fortune 500 company. My gambling was already so out of control that I was stealing everything I could to stay in action. I set up a room in the factory that we used for playing cards (all day long). I was starting to do illegal acts (manipulating stocks) in the stock market.

Our home life was deteriorating. Gambling was more important than anything else that was going on at home. I was lying about almost everything and I would come home and pick a fight so I could go out to gamble. Nothing else at that point in my life was more important than gambling; not my family or my job. Gambling came first. At this point even though I was doing illegal acts, I was still borrowing money from only legal sources.

My gambling continued to get progressively worse. I was now a plant manager, supervising 300-400 people. My boss worked in New York, and I was in the factory in NJ. Most of the time he didn’t know what I was doing. Besides stealing and borrowing money from coworkers, I now had 3 bank loans and 3 loans to finance companies; I owed a loan shark an amount of money equal to one years salary. I was involved with 3 bookmakers, both working for them and betting with them. I directed a lot of people who gambled in my company, to my bookmaker and got a piece of the action. I even got involved in a numbers operation. Between this and stealing, I was supporting my gambling. There were times I would bet 40 or 50 games on a weekend, and believe I could win them all. One weekend, just before I hit my bottom, I called a bookmaker and took a shot by betting a round robin which amounted to about 2 years annual salary. At that moment  if I lost that bet, there was no way I could pay it. Things were getting so bad, I remember calling a bookmaker one day and being told that if I didn’t bring him the money I owed him he would not take my bet for that night. I went home and sold our car to a neighbor.

By now, I wasn’t going home to pick a fight with my wife. I was doing it over the phone so I wouldn’t waste the trip home. Most of the time I was out gambling, but when I was home we were constantly fighting. We had sex very rarely. When I won I was so high I didn’t need it and if I lost I didn’t want it. But there were times we had sex and my wife would say to me “do you hear a radio”. Of course I would tell her she was crazy, but I had a radio on under the pillow so I could listen to a game. We were trying to have another child, but couldn’t. My wife came to me with the idea of adoption. I didn’t like that idea especially when I was told it would cost money. I needed that money for gambling. After 3 months of her bothering me, I finally went along with the idea of adoption, as I thought she would be so busy with the 2 kids that she would leave me alone. I borrowed the money we needed from my boss and relatives. On the day we were bringing our son home on a plane, it was the 7th game of the 1967 World Series. My wife was busy looking at this beautiful new baby. I had no interest in him. I had a large bet on the game. The pilot was announcing the score every 15 minutes, or so. I was so upset that we were on this plane. I wished and prayed that the plane would get to the ground so that I could see or hear every minute of this game.

In the next few months the bottom fell out of my world even though I still had my job and still looked okay. There were no track marks on my arm, I wasn’t smelling from my gambling. No one could really tell what was going on. I would come home from gambling and see my wife crying all the time, depressed, sick. Our daughter was 4 years old and I don’t remember her walking or talking. I either wasn’t home or when I was my head was consumed with the gambling. At that point in my life, I owed 32 people, 3 years annual salary. I had a life insurance policy and constantly thought about killing myself and leaving my wife and 2 kids that money. I would do anything to keep gambling. As long as I could get my hands on some more money to stay in action, I still thought that the big win was just around the corner. I was trying to find out where I could get drugs to sell and looking around at gas stations to rob. I was asking people about making counterfeit money. I was running out of options. My boss came to me one day and told me that a detective was following me and he had a report on my gambling. He knew I was betting more money than I earned and he was sure that I was stealing from the company and that if he found out he would have me arrested. Three hours later I was stealing from the company again. I needed to go to the racetrack that night. On February 2, 1968 my wife was having a miscarriage and I was taking her to the hospital. I was wishing and praying all the way that she would die. I thought that would solve all my problems (I wouldn’t have to tell her how bad things were). That morning I called my mother to watch my kids, I called my boss and told him I couldn’t come to work because my wife was in the hospital. That afternoon I went to the racetrack. After the track I went to see how my wife was. When I got to the hospital the doctor told me that my wife was in shock and had almost died. I was so deep into my addiction that I really didn’t care about her, the 2 kids or myself. The only important thing was making a bet.

I thought that I was the only one living the way I was living and doing the things that I was doing. I found out that I was not alone and that I could stop gambling with the help of the other people. I had hope for the first time. It’s been over 40 years since I last gambled. Today I have everything I dreamed about getting from gambling and then some. I have a wonderful family that is still intact and even have been blessed with 4 grandchildren who I love very much. In the last 30 years I have been able to devote my working life to helping others who have this problem and educating people on the disease of Compulsive Gambling. This has been a dream come true.